Brand New Re-Resolutions

1.1.13....Its time to rejoice.
New Year Eve has always been a time to looks back the days and most importantly,look forward to the coming years.Its the time to reflect ourselves,the changes we want (or need ) to make and resolve to follow through it.It is indeed,yet another occasion renew the resolutions.And for some, to add a few more.

In the past, resolutions were more deeper....A 19 year old girl would have resolved to become less self-centered,more helpful,more diligent worker, and to improve her internal character.Body image,health,diet,desired profession and travels were less mentioned.At beginning of 21 century,resolutions are focused on good look and life style;she wants to fit in fitness,improve the body,hairstyle,diet, clothing ..etc.Similarly a man would resolve down...1.Quit smoking and reduce alcohol..2.Save money...3.Exercise more and lose weight..4. Spend more time with family......etc etc..
Improving education,learning something new,making more friends,making a trip are more resolved by the younger generations.

Well,we make resolutions,we break and remake.The nature of resolutions we have have changed over the years ,but not our nature;we do bypass them.Most resolutions have a similar tragic end. Some studies in USA says, 88% of those who make resolutions, fail.Not astonishing! (Not to me alteast.:P) 
And yes...Just like in the past,I have resolved myself to some.They were unfair for all the past and I am sure it wont be different this time.Well,I wont stop making them.Its a proof,I am alive.

I keep our desires alive, my dreams awake and my heart beating. # it stands true#
                                             " Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho...
                                                                     Toh zinda ho tum."

the midnight wakeup call

The darkest of the hours have dug the deepest of my thoughts.How I remember,I had once wished to nickname myself as 'Crazy Blue'.It was good I wasn't tagged with that.My choice has shifted to black;from the colour of the ink to the preference of darkness.

When the sun rest its beam behind the might rocks and the darkness begins to engulf my vision,I am focused.As the eyelids hugs each other to bid farewell to the day,I venture deeper into myself.I see a light of hope.Its an amazing awakening-'the wake up call'.
In a cool mid-autumn midnight,I woke up, lit up a half burned candle and pulled out a paper from beneath the heavy Kanski textbook..and started to scribble.Under the gleaming beams of the candle,I continued to jot my words.

".......1:48 am. Mongar is black out-over a week,and the entire town is fast asleep.This night is cool and foggy. Mongar to me is very unpredictable,maybe because it brought me surprises,some good and other very bad.It is a place where I never assumed would be the start of my career and haven of my learning.Professionally,I have been learning a lot here, ranging from magic of placebo to the calming effect of a slap :P. Day kicks off with the drowsy hours in the ward and runs with the patients waiting in the OPD. Patients and noise surround me till 3:00 pm.What then?Its all solitary........"

It was more than hour when I realized that writing needed a title,without which it would head nowhere, like my life.In the silence of the night even the ticking of the wall clock was pricking my heart deeper and for one long moment it took my thought away.Slowly I felt the oneness with the silence and began to talk to myself,'What do I really want out of my life?What is that very miracle that my heart yearns for?How would I achieve it?"Thoughts began to spill out like the gushing stream from behind the mountain,after the rain.Emotions poured out.I was enlightened. I decided. Yes...finally I found myself a meaning. And ......with the missionary zeal to start off the next day,I closed my eyes and retired for the night.

As the last rays of the new sun emerged along the colourful horizon and opened up my eyes,I felt entirely liberated from the stress.Hardly had I realized that I had lost something precious-My Goal! 

As day added on days,a year is passed!

Well,...this is what I had to write with one year old experience in Ministry of Health.

The start- Like anyone else I was welcomed well with all the politeness and gentleness,with smiling but confused faces.......To continue reading please click http://musingoflazygeek.blogspot.com/p/pen-and-paper.html

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